I miss my grandma. I was looking through all my old blogs and bro's blog and stumbled upon a few posts about my grandma when she just passed on.. I realised it's been more than 3 years since she left, since i dealt with the funny feelings i had when i saw her being lowered into the ground and buried. But it still brings about a funny feeling even till now. No idea how to explain the feeling of losing a loved one forever.

I still can picture her walking up the stairs with a green cup in her hands, then heading to Kor's room then to the toilet. Can still picture her bringing her black round tray filled with food to the living room, her guilty face when mummy ask her to lower the tv volume so me and Kor and study.. I feel bad even to have her stick that earpiece into her ear for so long.. It's painful, really.. It's even more painful to know that she was in great pain but with no one by her side to comfort her.. I have no idea why didnt i spend more time with her then. Really no idea at all. Is this what we say by only treasuring someone after they leave?

The guilt still haunts me up till now..

I suddenly feel like eating korean chicken. What a good timing..

posted by ariel at 1:26 AM